ocean breathes satly

Your body may be gone, I'm gonna carry you in.
In my head, in my heart, in my soul.
And maybe we'll get lucky and we'll both live again.
Well I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Don't think so.

Well that is that and this is this.
You tell me what you want and I'll tell you what you get.
You get away from me. You get away from me.
Collected my belongings and I left the jail.
Well thanks for the time, I needed to think a spell.
I had to think awhile. I had to think awhile.

The ocean breathes salty, won't you carry it in?
In your head, in your mouth, in your soul.
And maybe we'll get lucky and we'll both grow old.
Well I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I hope so.

Well that is that and this is this.
You tell me what you want and I'll tell you what you get.
You get away from me. You get away from me.
Collected my belongings and I left the jail.
Well thanks for the time, I needed to think a spell.
I had to think awhile. I had to think awhile.

Well that is that and this is this.
Will you tell me what you saw and I'll tell you what you missed,
when the ocean met the sky.
You missed when time and life shook hands and said goodbye.
When the earth folded in on itself.
And said "Good luck, for your sake I hope heaven and hell
are really there, but I wouldn't hold my breath."
You wasted life, why wouldn't you waste death?
You wasted life, why wouldn't you waste death?

The ocean breathes salty, won't you carry it in?
In your head, in your mouth, in your soul.
The more we move ahead the more we're stuck in rewind.
Well I don't mind. I don't mind. How the hell could I mind?

Well that is that and this is this.
You tell me what you want and I'll tell you what you get.
You get away from me. You get away from me.

Well that is that and this is this.
Will you tell me what you saw and I'll tell you what you missed,
when the ocean met the sky.
You wasted life, why wouldn't you waste the afterlife?

if it takes shit to make bliss then i feel pretty blissfully

everyone is going to die at some point. i'm trying hard to really wrap my head around this on a daily basis. it's the thought behind every happy moment shared with others in life, i think. some people choose not to look at it though. maybe they are the smart ones. or terribly unlucky. a little of both?

there are those that choose to only stare at it. no matter how good some other things may be, they just make contact with the opposite emotion hanging out in the back. and its hard to know if anything could ever really touch them.

and then there's me. where, no matter the topic, i am constantly bouncing my head back and forth between the two worlds. able to only feel a little of each, but never one fully. i remember moments of trying to lean towards one side but it seems like something keeps me from going there without creating a safe way to get out.

music of the moment if you're interested in joining me:

modest mouse (good news for people who love bad news)
smashing pumpkins (pisces iscariot)
joy division (and for that bands twin, new order)
the cure (everything)

it's all i can do to clear my mind and go about my day now. i know it will fade away with time. until then:

"my thoughts were so loud i couldn't hear my mouth"