"I'll be there as soon as I can
But I'm busy mending broken
Pieces of the life I had before
Before you"
done with school for this semester. i have no idea where i'm going next. and it's making me quite upset not knowing how exactly i'll be moving forward coming up. i sometimes feel as though i'm losing the point of my education and that is literally to ... learn more. it's becoming so entangled with how much money i can make from a degree. when in reality most of the people i know who have degrees aren't even using them for anything with their job. and most of those people also hate those jobs more often than not.
no wonder it's such a depressing cycle to be in.
i should feel relief. i got at least an A and a B. maybe tow A's. but i'm not. if i got the B, i'm upset that i didn't push myself that much harder for the A. i really wish i had the mentality of those that are fine with C's and just passing. just for a day. to not have to hold myself to some standard set forth by... me? i mean, i only have me to answer to right now so if i fail i'm the only one that's really going to think less of me. i think i'm just so afraid of being one of those people that makes excuses for what they do.
"yea but i was working two jobs"
"yea but i was sick that week"
"you needed to sleep... they will understand"
i just don't know where to draw the line. i think that's probably why i enjoy strict guidelines so much (from people i respect anyways). because then i know how to color inside the lines properly.
at least i've found that i can accomplish a lot more than i originally thought i could. i want to keep that going. maybe that's my new direction. to constantly challenge myself. in how ever many ways i can.
No comments:
Post a Comment